Karmic Report For
May 14, 1984,
From an esoteric point of view your birth chart is a portrait of your soul’s intention for this lifetime, the lessons to be learned, qualities to develop, problems to be resolved, service to be rendered. From that perspective, the choices one makes in one’s daily life have reverberations that may last beyond even this lifetime.
This report is written to help you clarify your lessons and goals, illuminate your struggles, and encourage you to move in the direction of your true purposes.
The best to you on your journey…
Chapter 1: The Moon
The placement of the Moon in your birth chart is very significant from a karmic perspective, as it indicates the accumulated karmic tendencies, both positive and negative, that you carry from your past incarnated experiences on earth.
While the Sun reveals your intended purposes and lessons for this present life cycle, the MOON represents what you have already done and developed, hence, what is instinctive and natural to you, and what you tend to do over and over again. Your childhood is also reflected in the Moon’s placement, as it is through those childhood circumstances that any unresolved past-life issues are re-stimulated. Your subconscious predisposition is indicated by the Moon’s position. It is the psychic imprint of the past. The nodes of the Moon describe behavior patterns from the past, as well as delineating a direction out of outworn or overdone behaviors and habits.
Moon in Scorpio:
In your incarnational past you developed an acute psychic sensitivity, a sort of psychic x-ray vision that enables you to read the hidden agendas and the unspoken (often unconscious) messages that other people put out. Your ability to intuit another’s motives and unexpressed feelings may make some people wary or uncomfortable around you. It is as if they sense that you know more about them than they know themselves, especially about those aspects of themselves they would rather not face or have other people see. In the past, your penetrating insight into human nature, your capacity to deeply “know” a person emphatically, and your attunement to the dark or hidden under currents in a person or situation may have gained you the reputation of being a “witch”. You may well have used your deeper knowledge to gain power over or manipulate people in subtle ways. Certainly you had the capacity to do so. You may also have endured much ridicule whenever you openly expressed your feelings and your awareneses. As a result, you learned to be very secretive and private and to protect yourself from prying eyes. Even today, you can be very asocial and you hide quite a bit of yourself from public view, retreating into seclusion whenever you feel threatened. At a deep level you may believe that you must hide in order to survive. Thus, allowing yourself to come out into the open, or to let people in, may be very difficult for you. Early experiences in this life, or in past lifetimes, have conditioned you to be less than trusting. Your lovers and close friends may feel you are unjustifiably fearful, even a bit paranoid. The truth is, you have experienced first-hand the nastier side of human nature. You thus tend to throw up smoke screens between yourself and those who would know you at more than a superficial level. Once you do allow someone to know you well, fears of loss, betrayal, or abandonment usually surface rapidly. Nevertheless, your capacity for and your need for deep intimacy and emotional closeness in your relationships is greater than most. You seek intensity in your relationships and can not be satisfied with “luke warm”. You run hot and cold, and are prone to be compulsive or obsessed with the people or issues you care about. At your worst, you are unbearably possessive and controlling, driven by your craving for closeness and also your underlying memories of being betrayed. Jealousy may be your greatest nemesis. Secretly nursing grudges, resentment, and grievances over things that happened long ago may also be a bad habit of yours, one you will need to overcome if you are not to be poisoned by your own negativity.
It is important that you do not deny or repress such feelings, either, as that will only fuel them. However, if you can acknowledge and share them – and then let them go, you can free yourself of much old, excess “baggage”. You are also prone to strong feelings of guilt, often for no known cause that you can consciously recognize. This may stem from three sources: 1)Being punished or shamed as a child for your very strong feel-ings, especially the “not-nice” ones, 2) your own instinctive awareness of the “shadowy” side of your own nature and 3) deep memories of your own misuse or misdirection of power.
At your best, you are passionate, creative, caring, deep, and wise in an instinctive way. In this lifetime you could be a particularly insightful psychologist or counselor, the one people will divulge their darkest secrets to. By confronting your own negativity and pain, and learning to release it, you are able to shed some light for others who struggle with the same.
Moon Opposition Venus:
You have a great capacity for and one might even say craving for tenderness, devoted love, family belonging, and the sweetness of shared domesticity. Your marriage and your children may well be the focus in your life, but this arena is not apt to be completely harmonious. You have conflicting urges when it comes to satisfying your erotic love feelings. What you want and what gives you pleasure in love may be at odds with what makes you comfortable or secure. Your ability to give and receive love freely may be inhibited by messages you received or experiences you had in childhood, or you may feel conflicting loyalties between your parents and family of origin verses your mate or lover. Or, perhaps, your identification with your role as parent interferes with your lover-relationship with your spouse. Along with this is a tendency to become overly “close” and dependent on family. On another level, you are apt to have a lazy, pleasure-loving side that enjoys being pampered and is disinclined to real effort and self-discipline.
A habit of doing things the easy way, and a certain passive desire to be taken care of, may develop. Also, quite possible is an addiction to sweets, and thus an ongoing weight problem.
North Node in Gemini:
In your incarnational past you were devoted to ideals and principles and high-mended pursuits. Now your growth direction is to laugh and see the humor in it all, as well as to apply your wisdom in ordinary day to day interactions.
Moon Conjunct Mars:
In prior lifetimes you were often surrounded with contention and controversy and faced with the need to defend your territory or to fight to protect what you cherished. As a result, you developed a pattern of being on edge, vigilant and quick to respond to any affront (real or imagined) to your security. You are apt to get angry and to lash out without really knowing why. You have a sensitive trigger.
A particularly acute and intense sibling rivalry or turbulent home life (in this lifetime and/or earlier ones) may well have contributed to this. Now, you instinctively and subconsciously view others as potential rivals rather than potential friends. An underlying urge to be “one up” or beat them out may sabotage even your closest personal relationships.
Internal anger over events that happened long ago and which may not be consciously remembered needs to be acknowledged and expressed. However, try not to project your anger onto innocent people or present situations.
Learning and practicing deep relaxation techniques can also benefit you considerably, and take the sharp edge off your overly active “fight-or-flight” responses. On the positive side, you have a lot of confidence in your ability to act when you must.
Moon Conjunct Saturn:
Previous lifetimes of austerity, enforced disciplines and aloneness, whether you lived as a hermit, or amongst others but cut off from the usual sources of human closeness and nourishment, have left an impression upon you which may influence you now in a number of ways.
The first is simply a preference for solitude, a needing to withdraw into the safety of your own company, which is a well-established pattern. Having learned to look only to yourself for support, you are now disinclined to reach out or open yourself up emotionally to the world. Your emotional self control or self-imposed isolation may be a hard habit to break, even when it would be desirable to do so, as in relating warmly to your children or letting yourself need and be needed by people you love. A fear of being unworthy or unacceptable may underlie this, and a feeling that you just do not belong. Recognize that it is a carry over from the past, one that does not have to be your present reality.
You are apt to be far too critical and hard on yourself, and thus overly sensitive to criticism from others – another factor that may keep you from letting yourself be vulnerable with them. You may well have learned this attitude from a harsh disciplinarian in your life, whether a person or circumstance. Now you need to and can learn to be gentler, more forgiving, more tolerant of yourself and your humanness.
On the positive side, the gifts of the deprivation, struggle, and aloneness you have experienced are inner strength and a cherishing of the emotional closeness and family feeling you once had to forego.
Chapter 2: The Sun
The Sun in your birth chart represents the primary creative thrust for this lifetime, those qualities you are to develop (or further develop) and express, and your current life focus. This may be in harmony with your instincts and your emotional habits, or along completely different lines. The Sun represents your conscious identity in this lifetime.
Sun in Taurus:
Your soul development in this lifetime involves fully immersing yourself in matter, the physical world, and your senses. The ramifications of this are many.
First of all, you very much enjoy the fruits of the earth in a simple, uncomplicated way. You have a deep rapport with nature and its rhythms, and if you cannot live in the country, you need at least to have a view of some natural beauty or to be surrounded with living or growing things. You have a strong affinity for plants. Regular contact with the land, forests, mountains, or your garden restores you, and without it you lose your center and your peace. When you are at your best, you function like a healthy animal, following what your instincts and your senses tell you. Your well known stubbornness and resistance to change is in part a reflection of your strong need to follow your own instincts and proceed at your own natural pace. As a wise one once phrased it “A soul must never be pushed or driven, but allowed to unfold naturally, like a flower blossoming bit by bit in the sunshine”. This sense of a natural unfolding process underlies your tendency to be both steadily patient and very obstinate when faced with the need to make sudden moves or adapt to changes. Furthermore, your contribution in life has to do with building (solid foundations, assets, structures) and continuing, sustaining, and preserving what has already been attained (thus, your disinclination to embrace innovation or change).
Your willfulness, which is quite strong, has the qualities of the earth itself – heavy, immovable, dense, enduring, and constant – and in terms of character or soul development this may work for or against you. You are not easily impacted or influenced by others, and you tend to ignore subtle hints and clues that you are not on the right track. Thus, you will persist in an endeavor until you are shown in some very gross, unmistakable way that you cannot or should not. In this way, you can make some egregious errors, carving deep grooves or patterns which are very hard to change.
Positively, of course, this same tenacity enables you to accomplish your desires through sheer persistence and stamina. You can be a stabilizing, grounding force for the people around you, which is part of your soul-purpose.
Your earthiness also indicates that you are attuned to that which is tangible, material, solid, substantial, real and present. You tend to distrust or discount what is intangible or abstract. Unless you see physical evidence, concrete facts, or “proof”, you are unlikely to believe something is possible, and you give little credence to some speculative idea which has no concrete application or actual usefulness. A desire to own land or to have solid financial assets and to insure that your basic material needs are well taken care of, is another aspect of this basic earthiness. The mundane world – money, work, taking care of and enjoying the physical body – is your arena.
You are very body oriented, and you respond very much to physical appearances, to physical beauty and to the sensual aspect of things (how it looks, feels, smells, tastes). The benefit of this is simply that you fully enjoy your sensuality and your creaturehood. You have a great capacity for contentment, for enjoying things as they are, and for partaking in the pleasures which are all around you and readily available. However, you may spend inordinate amounts of time and energy on your body, dealing with your appetites and desires for material comfort, security, and pleasure. Enjoying but not being completely dominated by your appetites and desires is the key here. You also need to beware of being taken in by superficial, outer appearances, and thus missing the deeper aspects of a person or situation.
Sun Opposition Mars:
In this life you are learning to embody and express the energies of the warrior; courage, action, forcefulness, the ability to fight for what you want and need. However, these positive qualities can quickly degenerate into unnecessary and excessive aggression, discordant relationships, even violence. Your tendency to be impatient and hot headed, and to see everyone as a potential competitor or rival, may draw out the anger and combativeness in other people. Your challenge is to learn to use your overabundant energy in productive, or at least not destructive, action.
Chapter 3: Saturn, Your Achilles Heel
Karmically considered, the placement of Saturn in your birth chart indicates where your energetic blockages, weaknesses and fears lie, and the areas of your life where the most concentrated effort and discipline will be required to master and overcome them. Yet it also points to the aspects of life which can become your greatest strength if you are willing to face your fears and difficulties honestly, and work with them patiently.
Saturn in Scorpio
You tend to get tied up in knots when it comes to surrendering, relinquishing control and letting yourself be seen for who you truly are. Problems in your sexual relationships or in any potentially deep, intimate relationship can grow out of this. You may also have sexual secrets, or feelings and desires that are difficult for you to discuss or even acknowledge because you consider them to be taboo. You have a great fear of your emotional depths, your passion, your anger and other dark, “ugly” emotions that you imagine you have more than others do. However, these intense feelings are not unique to yourself, and learning to accept rather than avoid or suppress them is crucial for you. Otherwise they are apt to erupt unexpectedly, or subtly poison your life. Understanding your jealousy, professional, sexual or otherwise may be one of your greatest lessons. If you are willing to journey deep within yourself and reclaim some of the most denied aspects of your being, particularly your emotions, you will have great opportunities to transform yourself and to become a truly powerful individual. Other patterns which may need work are: hiding, withholding yourself, isolating yourself, being compulsively secretive and mistrusting others’ motives. At your worst, you could become paranoid and destructive either to your-self or others.
Saturn is Retrograde:
All of the above is complicated by the fact that you carry a rather heavy burden of self-doubt, mistrust, or guilt over having let yourself and others down in your past, when you struggled (and failed) with these same issues. You now have the opportunity to correct your course, make amends and resolve a difficult karmic tangle, or a difficult state of mind.
Saturn Opposition Venus:
In this lifetime the arena of human relationships and personal love will be full of challenge and lessons for you. Love is hard to find, hard to sustain, or just plain hard! Shyness and loneliness, due mostly to an acute sensitivity to the possibility of rejection, are apt to plague your younger years. Even when friendship and open affection is offered to you, you are prone to doubt it, push it away in disbelief, or feel unworthy of it. Pure, unadulterated pleasure in any form discomforts you. Subconsciously at least, you believe that there is a price to be paid for any love or pleasure you receive, that you may be punished if you enjoy too much or love too much. There is an inner link between love and loss, love and separation, or love and punishment that inhibits you or makes you wary. Worst of all, you may feel that you are unlovable or unwanted. All of this is a karmic carry-over which needs to be handled with great compassion toward yourself. You may have toughened up and hardened your heart a great deal due to past injury, so that you have acted in cold, unfeeling, ungenerous, or unloving ways towards others and yourself. Perhaps, too, you have put work or other responsibilities ahead of the needs and desires of your heart. An opening and healing of the heart, first of all by cherishing yourself, is necessary. Once you start valuing yourself, your personal relationships will reflect that, and happiness in love in your later years can do much to make up for the earlier difficulties.
You might wish to wear or carry rose quartz, tourmaline, lavender, jade, or chrysoprase.
Chapter 4: The Hard Aspects
The following is a description of your MAJOR LIFE CHALLENGES, both in terms of energies you are to learn to develop and express in a positive way, and those which are the result of struggles and unresolved karmic issues which you have brought into this life.
Mercury Opposition Pluto:
You have a penetrating, incisive mind which cuts through surface appearances to the deeper, underlying heart-of-the-matter. Your perceptions and profound insights border at times on being truly uncanny, for you have the gift of being able to perceive the hidden content, the concealed, disguised, or suppressed aspects of a person, situation, or subject. On a concrete level, this quality of mind impels you to be the researcher or investigator, searching out the unknown, uncovering a mystery. Even in casual social interaction you automatically perceive others’ subconscious intentions and motives. You are very astute psychologically. Hence, your presence can be somewhat threatening to those who have secrets or who have much invested in the superficial and prefer not to go any deeper.
This capacity carries with it, however, challenges and pitfalls. You may find yourself falling into a habit of mind that is suspicious, paranoid, cynical, or preoccupied with the dark underside of life, and this may skew your entire outlook. (You may also use your considerable insight, persuasiveness, and mental power to try to manipulate others’ thoughts and actions which would inevitably bring negative karmic results.) Verbally you can be quite cutting and hurtful. Realize that simply speaking “the truth” without mercy or sensitivity to how your words are received, can do more harm than good.
At its worst this aspect would be expressed in a Machiavellian type of mind, utilizing your keen perception to manipulate and dominate others.
Venus Opposition Mars:
In this lifetime the erotic impulses of human love, desire, and sexual relationships are a highly charged focus of your attention. Expressing your sexual energies and personal magnetic attractiveness in ways that are loving and respectful or at least not harmful to yourself and others will be one of your issues. Dominating others through your sexuality or allowing yourself to be dominated in this way is also a theme. Dissonance or turbulence in intimate relationships, especially over differences in sexual drives or needs, must be handled with care. Expressing your passion in ways that are compatible with your own values and sense of beauty is the key here.
On another level, balancing and integrating masculine and feminine energies within yourself is the challenge. Carrying or wearing watermelon tourmaline can be quite useful along these lines.
Venus Sesquiquadrate Neptune:
You are in love with love, and your path in life, as well as many of your challenges, involves understanding and experiencing the realm of the heart. Irresistibly romantic, you have the soul of a poet, a devotee, and above all, a lover.
In its earliest stages of development, this pattern within inclines you to be easily seduced, overcome with emotional yearning and infatuation, unable to discern the motives and intentions of others, particularly if the other person appears beautiful, soft, innocent, or in need. You can confuse pity with love. You see the angel in the other person, and are deeply disillusioned to discover the selfishness or sordidness.
Further on, your relationship with spirit may become paramount in your life, a relationship between lover and beloved. Your path is then what the Hindus refer to as “bhakti” -spiritual devotion and service. This higher octave of love and widening of the heart’s affections can be very beautiful, but herein lies the crux of some of your very human problems: “Where are the limits or boundaries in relationships?” “Are there conditions in love, or is unconditional love the ideal?”. Sorting out these questions and similar ones are part of what your life is about.
Mars is Retrograde:
Asserting yourself vigorously and directly is complicated by the fact that you had a prior lifetime or lifetimes in which aggression was either misused (by you, or against you) and/or all personal initiative and self-will was insistently discouraged (perhaps due to a belief system that advocated passivity).
In any case, the message that was impressed upon you was that forceful action is wrong or dangerous. Thus, if you stand up for yourself, you now tend to hesitate, back down or even be plagued with fears of retaliation.
Jupiter is Retrograde:
Moral concerns (including lingering unresolved issues stemming from a prior lifetime or lifetimes in which you exercised poor judgment in moral, ethical, or religious matters) come into play here. Thus, it is especially important for you to maintain high standards while pursuing your aspirations.
Uranus is Retrograde:
All of the above is complicated by the fact that in prior times, you experienced great personal instability as a result of impersonal, collective impulses toward change (during a time of revolution, political upheaval, war, etc.). You may well have been an agent of these movements, with a lingering inclination toward radical solutions, extremism, flauntingly disregarding social mores. Or you may have become a reactionary, fearing and resisting all reforms or departures from the “main stream”. It is thus difficult for you to be balanced and fair towards any eccentricities (in others or even in yourself). A misuse of science or technology, perhaps participating in experiments which were harmful to you or others, is also indicated. Thus, you may have a deep distrust of or an attraction/repulsion toward science and technological advancement.
Neptune is Retrograde:
The above is complicated by the fact that you had a prior lifetime or lifetimes in which you dissipated your energy, fell away from your disciplines, or were too passive or irresolute to go after the spiritual opportunities open to you at that time. This carries over as a vague yet persistent inner nagging that you should be further on than you are, or a fear of spiritual failure. You may also have been involved in mystical or magical practices that created distortions in your life. It is important for you to take a balanced, patient, well-grounded attitude toward life – nothing too otherworldly, ethereal, or glamorous. Indulging in any mood-altering substances is particularly deleterious for you.
Pluto is Retrograde:
These issues are further complicated by the fact that in a prior life or lives you experienced a terrible betrayal, and may even have been tortured or put to death when you claimed power (social, political or spiritual). You may have misused power or employed Machiavellian strategies in which many suffered. Whether you were a perpetrator or a victim of such abuses, deep fears were engendered at that time, of being powerful or of people in power who would crush you if you display your strengths. An unconscious desire for revenge may motivate you and prevent you from healing. Letting go of this may require deep inner work and some kind of therapeutic energetic release of the grief you hold.
Chapter 5: Soft Aspects
The following is a description of your GIFTS and STRENGTHS which can help you work with your major life challenges. These are abilities and qualities of heart, mind, and soul which are quite natural to you. You probably take them for granted. Because these represent the lines of least resistance for you, you may rely too much upon them at times; hence, there are some cautions suggested. Still, these are the areas where good flows into your life and/or where you have considerable inner resources.
Mercury Trine Neptune:
An innate understanding of spiritual and metaphysical principles, and a direct perception of the inner world (via intuition, clairvoyance or clairaudience, etc.) enables you to speak of or teach others these subjects. Your conscious mind links easily and readily to other dimensions. This is something you probably take for granted and it may happen without any conscious effort or intent on your part. You are like a “cosmic radio” and you may pick up certain vibrations and the feelings of others without realizing you are doing so. You also have a sensitive nervous system which responds quickly to stimuli, so you require a harmonious atmosphere in order to function at your best.
Your psychic and/or musical, artistic, and poetic sensibilities are pronounced due to prior development in these arenas.
Venus Trine Jupiter:
In your incarnational past you have enjoyed ease and wealth, and have thus developed a taste for “the finer things”, and a certain level of comfort and material well-being. You expect to be well provided for, and will attract prosperity quite easily. However, you may also take much for granted or be disinclined to put yourself out very much. If you can avoid the “spoiled prince” or “spoiled princess” attitude, your more golden qualities will help you create a satisfying life for yourself. These personal attributes include generosity, friendliness, givingness, tolerance, and the ability to make others feel comfortable, accepted, and good about themselves. Humor and a light touch are also among your gifts.
An appreciation for beauty and culture is well developed in you also; and you could be a sponsor and supporter of the arts in your community.
Jupiter Sextile Saturn:
You have a well-developed understanding of how the larger systems of the world operate, and how to succeed within the confines and limitations of the mundane world. Business on a large scale, the law, financial principles, all of these could be your forte. Your ability to make long-range plans and goals, and then to be consistent in implementing those plans is an important asset. You have vision and optimism combined with pragmatism.
Blessings, help, guidance and strength will come to you from elders with a particular mentor or grandfather figure being especially influential.
Neptune Sextile Pluto:
Collectively, this is a time in history that enables you and those of your generation to advance spiritually through a heightened awareness of the invisible and intangible realms. A rebirth of spirituality through direct contact with higher forces is occurring in this generation. This contact takes many, many forms, including a compelling interest in life beyond death. You may or may not have a personal involvement with this, as it is a group karma rather than a primarily personal one.